Who’s up for a little Friday fun? I am! Especially if it’s all about poking fun at all those blissfully ignorant things I said while I was still pregnant.
But first, two things.
First, 4th of July is NEXT week- whoop! I love that summer holiday and I also love some parfaits because, honestly, who doesn’t?
Yesterday on WCCB Charlotte Rising, I made these festive Greek yogurt parfaits with Tera. Click the link to watch me in action… and watch me say ‘gunna’ instead of ‘going to’ – way to articulate, Brittany! 
Also, I recently wrote a post for What to Expect (When You’re Expecting) website regarding my frustration with today’s coddled kids. You can check that out HERE.
But now, the 5 things I should have never said I’d never do as a parent…
5. I swore we wouldn’t use a pacifier. After all, pacifiers are a bad habit and can mess up children’s teeth. It’s a crutch. It’s a cop out. It’s… a life saver. David popped one in Hailey’s mouth when she was 3 weeks old and when I saw it, I swear smoke billowed out of my ears as I ripped it out of her mouth. The next day I couldn’t soothe her no matter what I tried, so I popped that pacifier in, swallowed my pride and haven’t looked back. Now we use the pacifier for only sleep and in the car (unless we mess up her schedule and use one as a life raft). I hope to break the overall habit around age 2. Pray for me.
4. I would never bribe my child with a treat to behave. I stood all proud of this fact while Hailey was a complacent baby, but once toddlerhood hit, I caved. It was at Target (maybe around 14 months?). It was a sucker (does it help that it was organic?!). It bought me an extra 20 minutes. No regrets. Now I always grab a toy, stickers or a snack to keep her occupied.
3. I’d never be that mom that counted age in weeks or months. Well, then I became pregnant and realized that weeks made so much more sense than months. Then Hailey was an infant and months just seemed natural to count in, but no way would I do it after she turned 1. Well, guess what. Someone asked how old she was yesterday and I replied 21 months. Maybe I’ll stop once she is 2?
2. I would always have all my attention on my child and never have my nose in a phone. Then I became a stay-at-home(ish) mom and I get it. Sure, maybe you see me ONCE at the park and I’m responding to an email while Hailey goes down the slide for the 1 billionth time and shake your head at me being such a disengaged mother. But guess what you didn’t see? The THREE hours I spent earlier reading books (over and over I might add), changing diapers, singing songs and teaching her to help me cook. I feel comfortable with the amount of time I spend engaging with my daughter and believe that self play and play time without mom is beneficial, too.
1. No TV before age 2. Oh boy, was I set on this one. Really set. I’ve read so much about how children don’t need to be constantly entertained. It’s bad for their brain development. It slows their ability to acquire the necessary skills to entertain themselves and develop a strong imagination. I was sold and so I stuck to it. Then, one day at 20 months old, I’d had the longest day ever. I snapped and found Dora the Explorer on Netflix. I begged that little girl, her monkey friend and her singing map to PLEASE entertain my child for just 15 minutes. She did. And I love her for that. So now we are Dora and Sesame Street fans, but I still really try to limit it. I’d say Hailey watches 60 minutes total a week, broken into 15 minute segments. My pre-child self is shaking her head in disappointment, but my toddler-mom self is looking at me with sympathetic eyes.
I can’t be alone in these…. right?
What is one thing you said you’d NEVER do that you’ve caved on?
Verna says
I’ve done all of those too! Both of mine got pacifiers in the hospital after hour long nursing sessions. ha! Self play IS good for them too! 😉
Karen says
So funny, I said the same thing with all five of those. I think I said, I’d never give her a treat just to get things done…WOW, was I wrong. I rely on dry cereal, goldfish, cereal bars, applesauce and banana bread to keep her quiet in stores while shopping. She does a pretty good job as she really just likes to say “hi” to everyone. I tell all my preggo friends, “never say never”.
Hannah @ CleanEatingVeggieGirl says
Haha, this post cracks me up! 😉 I cannot wait to see what things that I do (that I have said I’d never do) once I am a parent. I am sure that some of the things on your list will be on my list, too! 😉
chelsey @ clean eating chelsey says
I am open to doing ALL of those things – especially the pacifier. Anything that will soothe two babies at the same time is going to be a life saver in my book. 😉
And have you ever let Hailey watch Super Why? It’s one of Aubrey’s favorites, and probably the reason why she knew all of her letters by 18 months – it’s a great program!
Jen says
Super Why is Wyatt’s favorite! Granted he doesn’t know any letters at 19mos but he loves that they read books on the show and, of course, that he shares a name with the main character!
Madeline @ Food Fitness and Family says
I think one of the first lessons I learned as a mom was to never say never, right? I kind of shake my head at expectant friends who say never ever ever. Soon they will be indoctrinated. Haha.
Carly @ Fine Fit Day says
Stop reading my journal!! LOL! 🙂 Um, all of these, except my little guy never really took to the pacifier (but I still turned to it in desperation at one point).
Let’s see what happens with the month thing after 2 – I came home from the playground the other day and told my husband that Roman played with a cute 27 month old boy.
Christina says
Our 17 month old is hooked on the pacifier too. We limit it to naptimes and nighttime sleep….and occasionally the car…..oh and when she’s teething….oh and if she’s having a tantrum….:)
I swore up and down that I would never have a picky eater, and that picky eaters were “made” and not “born”…..am I ever eating my words!
Lindsey says
I do agree with limiting TV for sure, but I know some TV will happen. I say I won’t allow food or drinks where there is carpet – livingroom and bedrooms except water…I had a soother till 3 so I cannot say that! lol
I know about the weeks thing never made sense before and now I always say my pregnancy in weeks.
Mandy @ The Running Herbivore says
I have no kids yet, so I’m still blissfully ignorant to all of these! 🙂
I KNOW I won’t be the crazy facebook picture mom though! I will take tons of pictures of my kids for myself, just not filling up everyone’s news feed with constant pics! Haha
Beth Sheridan @sugarcoatedsheridans says
Not alone at all honey!! The only one of those I haven’t done was the pacifier and that was only because my son would never take one…He acted like they choked him 🙂
Heather says
Ha ha, we said a lot of those same things when I was pregnant with our son. The pacifier is a total life saver, but like you, we’d like to ditch it before he turns 2. We actually didn’t start out caring about TV, until after he was born and I started reading things… then I realized sometimes the only way to get him to sleep or nap is to throw on a Disney movie and he’s out in 10 minutes. I figure an hour spread out over the course of a week isn’t really going to hurt development. 😉 I’ve also turned into one of those moms who probably posts too much on FB about our kid too – which I swore I wouldn’t do. Whoops. My blog also turned into being all about him. Ha ha.
Lauren says
I love all of your parenting posts! I am a new mom and work professionally with kids and I whole-heartedly agree kids today are over-coddled and not taught manners and respect for authority.
Amber at Love, Laugh, Live Well says
I have always proclaimed that I wouldn’t do those things either…until I started spending more time with my friends kids. Now…my mind has changed, especially with a little one on the way. I think most things are okay in moderation, and like you said before, you set limits on those things.
I’m pretty sure I’m going to be that mom on facebook that my friends will be sick of seeing pics of their kiddos. Oh well!
Mike @ Midwestern Bite says
I still stubbornly round our kiddo’s age to the nearest “half”. It usually drives people crazy. Doesn’t help when I get all serious and ask them if their Diet Coke cost 189 cents. 🙂
I have to do something to stay sane.
Kristen @ notsodomesticated says
These are too funny! My little one is only 2 months old, but I’m already doing things I said I wouldn’t do. And I have no doubt that I’ll continue to change my mind on things. I definitely don’t judge other mothers at this point! 😉
Katie says
Yeah I definitely had my do’s and don’ts, no sweet treats, limiting the pacifier, and not relying on the television. I think there are just some days when you will do whatever it takes just to make them content and joyful to be around haha. Grandparents haven’t helped with the sweets, but I just try to remember all in moderation and we don’t give her a ton outside of that. Gummies or “Nummies” as they are affectionately known in our house have become our saving grace when it comes to shopping however, I at least try to find the most natural ones I can, but they do the trick. As far as the pacifier or “fa” is concerned, we are going to have a hard habit to break, she wants it with her at all times and I don’t have the patience or energy right now to fight about it, especially with the twins coming and I’m sure we will have more around. I figure after they arrive and are here for a bit we can work on giving them up. And I WISH I could say Kheri only watched 60 minutes of tv total a week, but sometimes it is the only way I can get ready for work in the morning or relax a little bit, this pregnancy is taking a lot out of me and sometimes the tv is the only way we can have some quiet time, a.k.a. mommy can close her eyes for a moment 🙂 I figure as long as they are happy for the most part, growing the way they should, and progressing the way they need to it’s all good 🙂
Jodi says
Great post today Brittany! I think all moms need to just pat themselves on the back for doing the best job they can! No sense in worrying about the things you do every now and then to stay sane! 🙂 I have to say I was very bad about the paci and now Avery has an overbite… 🙁 But on a good note, she really was a happier baby because of it. Recently she went through some stress at daycare and I really think she needed her security… ( I just wish I had transitioned a while ago to a blankie…;) We don’t watch tv, but I do ‘pew-ter time’ as Avery calls it… sesamestreet.org and mothergooseclub on youtube are her favorites. I do sit with her and watch it with her and I think that is where she really learned her ABC’s, love of music, colors… we sing a lot of songs together bc of them, so I threw my guilt out the window. It is almost a must if you guys have another, you just can’t balance a new baby w/o some type of entertainment!!
Jessie says
I’m guilty of all of these as well, except for the pacifier. We have friends with a boy 11 months older than Lyric and seeing him w/his paci (which at almost 3, he still uses) I decided I would NOT have that kid. So, at 6 months, we tossed it. She was down to nap/sleep only by that point so we put her down for her morning nap w/o it and I threw them all away! Risky, yes, but we had no issues whatsoever. Definitely doing that w/the next kid!!
And the counting age in months thing I still do if the person who asked has kids. Otherwise I just say she’ll be 2 in Sept.
Jen says
The phone one is my vice…and I LOVE what you said. I completely COMPLETELY agree. It’s like you took the words out my mouth. lol
lauren says
Oh boy. I know I’m going to break a bunch of the rules I have in my head right now. I’m due in 2 weeks and I’m already saying stuff, like no pacifier or bottles ’til after 3 weeks…but I don’t know if I’ll break down before then.
I think it’ll be even funnier to see which “rules” my husband breaks. I don’t think he has any idea what he’s in for 😉
And for those worried about orthodontic issues down the road…I never took to a pacifier as a baby, yet I started orthodontic care at age 5 (overbite, spacing, crooked bottom teeth) and had braces at 9, 15 and 28.
Kimberly @ Healthy Strides says
All of them. And then some. We do hot dogs, on occasion when Miles won’t eat meat, and we do dessert. I’ve also placated him by opening up packages in the store and just making sure we pay for them. I also said I’d never be my mom and yet I’ve already started the counting – “You have 5 seconds to put that down – 1, 2, 3.” And that works. I think my goal now is to ditch any rules I made prebaby and strive for balance in Miles’ diet and life.
Jen says
Yes, to ALL of these! Though Wyatt never took a pacifier, I definitely tried to make him. I’m actually cool with the TV now, but mostly because Wyatt will only sit still and watch it for 10min tops at a time.
Michelle G. says
Awesome TV segment! Sounds like a great gig. I’m no expert (other than that I like watching morning television), but I think you should turn to face the camera a little more. You seem really relaxed, though, and you speak REALLY well, not just talking to fill up space, but actually putting together constructive sentences that explain the ingredients you choose (like chia seeds for the extra fiber and omega3s). You come off as really down to earth and friendly.
Erin @ The Grass Skirt says
I swore that I wouldn’t let Michael watch TV, but the child flippin loves it as background noise while he is playing (I think it is the music). I haven’t caved on anything else yet, but just give me some time. 😉
Lauren B. says
I can relate to all of these, especially the pacifier! Another one for me is that I swore up and down that I wouldn’t let the baby sleep in bed with us, as to avoid forming a bad habit. But a handful of times, when Jackson was itty bitty and waking up a few times a night, I found myself pulling him in bed with me so we could all get more sleep! And now that he’s older, sometimes I long for us to be able to do that again because it was so sweet. But he’s such a wiggly sleeper that it would never happen! Love this post! Happy weekend to you!
Christie says
The pacifier never bothered me – we gave one at the hospital and she loved it. But about 8 months she decided she was done with them so that probably makes it easier for me not to be afraid of them.
We definitely bribe my kid, watch too much tv, count age in months (17 months on Monday!). I don’t want to even admit how much time I spend on my phone :/
Amy@ahealthyandhappyheart says
Yes yes yes! I have said SO many things that I would never do/buy and here I am…one year later! (I swore I would NEVER buy boogie wipes b/c I thought they were silly and a waste…well when your kid can’t breathe out of his nose..you buy the wipes and love them!)
Oh by the way, your article is SPOT ON! Being a former elementary teacher, this is such a huge problem in today’s society. I love your stand and way of thinking!
Andrea Seaner says
I said we were going to give up the pacifier by 3 months…. Hahahaha! 18 months later and we’re still using it (just for sleeping). I also said I would never be one of those parents that uses the leash/tether thing with their child, but my son is a wild one and will definitely *need* a leash!!
Amy @ {Life to the Full} says
I’m with you on the pacifier one! My son is only 4 months, so I haven’t experienced many of the other “never thought I would” situations YET anyways. I didn’t think I would have a pacifier baby, but my son loves to suck! (better on the pacifier than on me ALL the time) Now he has found his hand to suck on, so the pacifier isn’t as important, but they still can be a lifesaver!
Chantal says
I never excluded things… but I’m surprised by some stuff I do. Like letting her get her own way when she throws a fit because I’m just too darn tired to fight.
John J. says
You rocked it today on TV, Ms. Personality. Bring one of those parfaits when you come visiting tomorrow, okay!?
Heather @ What Does She Do All Day? says
We have a joke that when a new mom-to-be says she’s going to do this or not do that we tell her “You just wait.” I think everyone has something(s) they said they wouldn’t do, but did. I bet the #1 is “not act like my mother.”
Tina @ Best Body Fitness says
Pretty sure I said I would never do any of those either…and yep, I do. Sometimes parenting is just survival mode and you gotta do what you gotta do. The parents who judge? Come on! You know you do certain things you said you never would too!
Jen@HealthyFoodandFamily says
Haha, YES to all of those! I was the world’s perfect parent…until my children were born 😉
Irina says
Except for 1 and 2, we do all of those things 🙂 Still no TV and I just do not spend any time on the phone when I am home – I get enough screen time at work.
char eats greens says
I think 1 hour a week is still good! This is one of the ones I really want to stick to as well, but is it bad that I watch TV in front of Nia right now?! I feel like because she doesn’t really know what it is, it’s ok, but once she starts really learning from it, I’ll stop. It’s not like we have the TV on 24/7, but we will put Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy on (mainly when I’m making dinner!).
This might be a bad one and other moms might not agree with this one, but I’m hoping one thing I stick to that I said before and while pregnant is that I’ll be a “tough-love” parent. I don’t mean in a sense that I will be super strict with my child, but that I follow through with what I say I’ll do. For instance, if she doesn’t eat dinner, and I say no dessert, that I won’t cave and give her the dessert later before her dinner is eaten. You know?
I love this post and should really think about the things I set out for myself. I think you’re doing a pretty awesome job as a mom 😉
Matt @ The Athlete's Plate says
Haha love this! I’m far from ready to be a parent 😉
Rachel Cooks says
Love this post! I’m with ya on almost all of those.
Neil Butterfield says
None negotiables are difficult to make when you have got kids. Not sure that I will do that when I become a parent.
Bella Hardy says
Hey, I’m mom of 2 kids and i adhere to these: No TV before age 2 and never counted age in weeks or months.I found your post from Pinterest! I’m also gonna pin this post on my Pinterest board my followers will love it. Thanks for sharing Brittany!