So remember that time I discussed birth control? You know, the post that you all left really great comments on? Well, I read every single comment… then… I did absolutely nothing.
OK, that’s not really true. I read your comments. Then I met and discussed options with my doctor. I talked to friends. I researched online, both anecdotal evidence and read what the studies said. Then I did nothing.
Why? Because all the options suck. Well, they all have a downside from what I can tell. Because of that, I’ve been paralyzed in a state of indecision. So, this isn’t a post finally revealing what I’m going to choose. This is merely my breakdown of birth control options as I see them. So read over it and tell me if I’ve missed something because I’m looking for the missing piece of information that will make this decision easier!
Option: Abstinence
Explanation: Not having sex
Pros: Obviously no chance of pregnancy, hormone free, no cost
Cons: Is this necessary to state? I’m married. To a stud.
Option: Natural Family Planning
Explanation: Taking temperature daily and charting, checking cervical mucus
Pros: hormone free, teaches you about your body
Cons: couldn’t do it now because I’m breastfeeding and haven’t gotten my cycle back, more difficult with irregular cycles (which I have a history of)
Option: Barrier Methods
Explanation: condoms, diaphragm, cervical cap, sponge
Pros: hormone free, cheap
Cons: As a married woman, I don’t prefer the extra step, lack of spontaneity and extra mess that comes with some of these options. Just a personal choice.
Option: Hormonal Methods
Explanation: birth control pills, mini pill, patch, shot, vaginal ring. Methods that use hormones to prevent the body from ovulating.
Pros: reliable when used correctly, makes your period predictable, lessens cramps and bloating
Cons: uses artificial hormones, can cover up fertility issues
Option: Implantable Devices
Explanation: IUDs (both hormonal and non), rod.
Pros: reliable without having to think about them, long term birth control, copper IUD is hormone-free
Cons: knowing I have something permanently in my body, pain of insertion, probably won’t be waiting 5 years between kids, still uses hormones (not Paragard, but I hear Paragard causes heavy bleeding and more painful periods). Also, with IUDs there is some concern about them perforating the uterus (though rare) and some ethical implications since the device does not actually stop an egg from releasing, but does not allow it to implant in the uterus, so technically a fertilized egg could be dispelled, which some see as early abortion. (Just stating a fact, not my personal belief)
Right now I am leaning towards the mini pill (while I continue to breastfeed to 1 year) to be followed by natural family planning (if that is an option for me) or the Nuvaring. Since the Nuvaring is inserted, it has 50% lower systemic exposure than the pill (source).
So, ladies… am I missing anything?
Is there a clear option that I’ve overlooked?
I’d love your insight!
Katie@Pop Culture Cuisine says
I too have gone back and forth with this whole issue and honestly have just continued to do what we before we had baby…the pull and pray as my hubby affectionately likes to refer to it. I have been on the pill in the past and the extra hormones just make me too crazy, I don’t enjoy the feeling I have when I am on them, so I went off of it shortly after we got married. With the withdrawal method, I never got pregnant until we wanted to specifically try to get pregnant. Now that being said, it isn’t 100 %, but we figure, we are married and willing to have children if that happens, so it isn’t a problem for us to take that risk, but I realize that isn’t the case for everyone.
Krista says
Same here. We’ve done pull N pray for over a decade and only got pregnant when we were trying. But now that we’re done having kids I’m getting a bit worried!
Erin says
I’m right there with you. My doctor prescribed me the mini pill, but I haven’t taken it yet. I can’t stand the artificial hormones in the pill and am worried about it affecting my supply. So, like you, I’m just doing nothing!
Jess Mathias says
One thing that i want to mention is that with a Mirena you don’t have to wait 5 years to take it out. You can take it out at any time.
Brittany says
Great point! I should have clarified that to be cost effective on my insurance that the doc explained I’d have to keep it in for a while.
PS- how’s your hair doing?? I’m jealous.
Jess Mathias says
Ahhh great point. Definitely depends on insurance for cost effectiveness. I didn’t even think of that.
Hair is awesome. I’m totally in love with the Keratin blowout. It’s amazing to just use a hairdryer. I can even air dry it and it looks decent (little more fluff but thats ok). 🙂 You should consider it!!
Sarah says
Good of you to check with insurance. Mine paid to have it inserted, but not to have it removed. Doesn’t make much sense right!?! Anyway, it was nearly $300 out of pocket for me to have it removed.
Karin says
Hi Lovlies,
I have had an IUD for forever and its time to have it changed…and I am researching to see if that is the healthiest for me option. I was happily surprised to find that my insurance cost for the IUD is now $0 due to the new well womens care (which when i got it it cost me $100). I personally love it, I went from having really light periods to medium–however worth it because I was miserable with anything hormone based!
Thanks for your info!
erica says
I just got the mirena IUD at 9 weeks post partum. It makes sense for us because we are 80% sure we are not having more kids. The process was uncomfortable, but so far I’ve had no issues like cramping or bleeding (past the first week I had it). I actually like that It allows you to ovulate and have normal cycles, to maintain libido and bone health. In my book the con is that it cost $1000 and we had to pay for it because our insurance works on a deductible system. So It is a pricey option when there are very affordable ways to get birth control pills.
Annabelle says
I have used NuvaRing for 3 years, and absolutely love it. When I went off for 3 months last year (I had leg surgery), I got my period back immediately. Neither I, nor any of my friends who have used it long term have experienced any side-effects. Plus, you only have to think about it once a month!
Andrea @ Andrea Out Loud! says
I am going through this dilemma too. I am leading toward an IUD though i am worried about the small (rare) risks/side effects. I am currently on the pill since forever and I did break for a while to test out the shot (depo), because I am not fabulous at taking my pill and I definitely dont need any children right now! After a year on the shot I went back to the pill because I didnt like the side effects I had on the shot..
Moral of story, I have been on the pill for over 10 years and feel like it is a “temporary” thing until I figure out what i really want to do, there has got to be a better way, but as you stated, I think all the options have cons so it is just a matter of which ones we want to put up with unfortunately! Either way, I am still thankful we still have all these options out there nowadays, they werent always available!
Marci says
I am now on the minipill. I liked regular bc pills, although I know many do not. My logic is since we got pregnant relatively easy the first time, there would be no reason to believe we would have problems again. And a pill is just so easy and mine is actually free? Don’t know why.
Lisa says
Or….just have another baby whenever your body decides to!
Kristen @ notsodomesticated says
I’m with ya, girl. I’ve struggled the past year and a half with the best option. I did the pill for a while, and now we’re using barrier methods, which is a huge pain in the rear. It makes me want to go the abstinence route instead haha! (Just kidding … kind of!)
Corrie @ Blurb Column says
I, too, am a married lady and I can tell you that condoms are a simple, effective method for preventing pregnancy. The “lack of spontanaiety” is hardly an issue. Keep condoms in a few places, like your purse with your tampons, in the night stand, the bathroom drawer, etc. Then they are handy when needed. 🙂 Plus, condoms are available just about everywhere, so if you decided you needed soem and were out or whatever, they could easily be obtained. Also, the act of putting on a condom can be supremely intimate and sexy. So, that is my 2 cents on the condom issue.
I have been on nuvaring for several years and I LOVE it (we use codoms also because we do not want kids). It is a great choice for busy people.
Lauren B. says
You make me laugh! “I’m married. To a stud.” You go, girl! 🙂
Julie @ Peanut Butter Fingers says
i loved that, too!! 🙂
Hallie says
I did the Merena IUD 10 weeks postpartum and have never looked back. Some of my thoughts on it:
1. If you have had a baby vaginally it won’t hurt most likely. I didn’t feel a thing, had to ask the doctor if she already did it.
2. You can take it out at anytime and there is no delay in being able to get pregnant again.
3. Its low hormone. I had real issues with pills and am having none of that with the Merena. Plus I have relatively no period, or only for a day which I love.
4. The main concern with perforating the uterus is if its done too soon post partum, you should be good here.
Given all the other options we looked into and my past problems with pills this was what we liked the best. It has been great! I don’t have to think about it at all.
Hope that info helps!
Hallie says
Also, our insurance covered the entire thing.
Maria says
I’m really interested in hearing about your experience with the Nuva Ring if you go that route. I’m on the pill right now and I like it, but I occassionally forget to take it and freak out, so we use the barrier method on top of it. It’s a lot of work! So if you choose Nuva, let me know how that works out. It might be a better option for me as well.
Melody says
Hope you have better luck on Nuvaring than I did! I’ m very sensitive to hormones/meds and they made me sick! First I got lightheaded then nauseous then vomited for 3 days off and on til It cleared my system….I took it out right away but had to ride it out 🙁 Same thing with the patch…. So I take a low level hormone pill and am fine but get occasional nausea. Good luck with your choice!
Suzana says
I’ve tried 3 brands of BC pills, and experiences a lot of side-effects from the hormones. I did wait 6 months on each to hope they subsided, but my body was just sensitive to the artificial hormones. I also tried the nuva ring, and can tell you not to worry about it falling out 🙂 That never happened to me, and I’m a semi-active university student.
I currently use condoms, as they are freely dispensed by my school and health clinics (Canada). I like that they are efficient, not too much hassle, and not ingested by my body – so no side-effects. They work for me 🙂
Caitlin says
Just make sure you are doing something if you don’t want to have another baby yet! I just had my first child in October and am now pregnant with our second. They will be around 15 months apart. While we are super excited and totally planned to have more kids, it was kind of a shock to see the pink lines so soon after our first!!! I was on the mini pill, but had stopped that and was waiting a month before going back to my old birth control pill…obviously a month was all my body needed!
Pretty sure after this one I’m going to look into an IUD!!
Melody says
Ps. In a long term committed relationship don’t most people find that condoms suck?! Hate the way they feel and it seems like an impersonal thing you do in a new relationship/casual dating in my opinion. And that icky rubber smell…. Lol Shall I continue my condom bashing? Haha…
Jordan says
Dont forget about the impact of Heath Care Reform. If it stands most plans will have to cover pregnancy prevention items at 100% . There aren’t specific guidelines on what those are but most likely you won’t pay anything for the pill, IUD, ring, etc (not over the counter items like condoms). It might be worth reassessing at the end of the month when the Supreme Court ruling is out. If all options cost the same it might change your analysis.
Suzanne says
I started checking cervical mucusa couple .months before I got my period back and it has been very accurate. I had no desire to go back on hormonal bc. I know a number of people who have had unexpected pregnancies with nuva ring, but you can say that about any bc.
Sarah says
Due to migraines, I can’t be on any estrogen birth control which severely limits my choices. I’m on a mini-pill now.
Birth control methods are severely lacking. Women are only fertile a few days a month while men are fertile 24/7/365. They’re the most fertile, so why can’t THEY take the birth control?!
Fallon says
That is probably the single best argument that I have ever heard for male birth control. Besides the fact that it’s just plain unfair to expect women to deal with all the possible side effects of hormonal methods, that is such a strong point. Never would have occured to me!
Sarah says
I read that in Taking Charge of Your Fertility and thought the same thing! I’ve remember it ever since.
shannon says
So true! I’m tired if always being the one who has to subject my body to foreign objects or artificial hormons! It’s the men’s turn to be poked and prodded to determine which birth control is best for them! It takes two to make them, why not two to prevent it?
Morgan says
I know people have issues with the pill, but my body does really well on it. To me, there are more pros than cons, so that’s the route I take.
emily s says
I am debating all these options, too…really frustrating! We have been using condoms (i didn’t want to do the mini pill while BF). I was a faithful pill user for a decade + and have always been super regular on
it . However my skin has been so clear since I got pregnant That I am hesitant to mess with my hormones again by going on the pill again. I thing we may stick with condoms because it won’t be too far down the line that we want to get pregnant again. Then, my hubby has wholeheartedly agreed to get a vasectomy he’s not 1 of those guys who thinks it messes with his manhood.
Jerrica says
Yay for your hubby! We just had our 2nd (and last) in Jan and are anxiously waiting for our (his!) vasectomy appt. Condoms are a great temporary solution for us until then too! My husband says it is the least he can do considering what the options for women are (or maybe he knows how crazy the hormones in bc make me) We found some keepers 🙂
Kristy @ Breath of Sunshine says
Same thought process in our household – I knew my body need a break from the hormones, but once I learned that your body never ovulates or has a real period while on the pill, I’ve decided that method will never be the right choice for me.
We have gone back to our dating ways – condoms for us. I’m used to them now (it took a few weeks to readjust), but now it isn’t even a thought process.
Jennifer says
I was on the pill before my first child and had no desire to go back on. I use a mixture of the natural planning method and barrier method when I suspect I might be fertile. So I stay off the hormones and only have to resort to condoms a few times a month. Once we have decided once and for all that we are done hubby will be getting snip snipped!
Elizabeth S. says
I just found your blog and have loved reading all the childbirth/new baby posts because I’m due next month.
Before we decided to TTC we were using condoms. They can be kind of a drag, so we would use withdrawal sometimes for more intimacy. I didn’t find condoms necessarily impersonal, just not the same as skin-on-skin.
I charted too, but I used that more for trying to get pregnant than trying to avoid it. Not sure my cycles are regular enough to complete rely on NFP for birth control.
Elizabeth says
The pull out method has always worked for me and everyone I know!
Jodie says
I am on the Nuva and love it. I bloat a bit before my period but that is as far as pms goes. Even when I was on the pill I had bad cramps. I’ve had a great experience with Nuva.
Casey W. @ thislittlechickpea says
I was on the Nuva Ring for a long time – 4+ years, before I began trying to get pregnant and I loved it… however once I got off of it, it took almost 5 months to return to normal and then had a “molar pregnancy” which was explained succinctly by my doctor as “too much genetic material to make a baby, but tricks your body into thinking you are pregnant.” There is no proven direct connection between using The Ring and this type of “miscarriage”, but I will be steering clear of hormonal birth control methods from here on out!
Erin says
I’d like to add to the chorus of Mirena lovers. I have not had children and insertion was uncomfortable but not bad. it’s way less hormone than I had to take w/ oral contraceptives (mini pill wasn’t an option for me), and the fact that I never have to worry/think about it is aaaaamazing. I was VERY nervous at first about the idea of a ‘device’ but i did a LOT of research and had no issues (most of what was posted online were horror stories). it really was and continues to be a great option, I recommend it highly to anyone. For what it’s worth, my fiance says it is the best thing that ever happened to us (TMI??? whatevs). it was affordable, too!!
Lyndsey says
Man Nuvaring totally freaks me out. I have had at least two friends who ended up in the hospital really sick from it.
I’ve been on bc for 8 years now, I hate it. I can’t wait to be married and get off it to start trying. Once that happens, I’m pretty sure I’ll never ever go back on a hormonal pill. I feel nuts half the time! Haha. Good luck with your search. It sucks there’s no perfect answer.
Lasty, totally agree with whoever talked about men being fertile all of the time and women just anfew days a month, but we are the ones stuck worrying! Ugh!!
Lee says
I was on the pill for many years and really never had a problem with it.
Kris says
Not necessarily a fact that an IUD keeps a fertilized egg from implanting; more likely the presence of the IUD affects the sperm:
http://www.fhi360.org/en/rh/pubs/booksreports/methodaction.htm
graceling says
Yes! So much mis-information about IUDs! There is actually no evidence that IUDs prevent implantation, yet “everyone” believes this to be true!
Austin Michelle says
I’ve never commented on your blog (which I follow regularly ) but this is a topic that I am incredibly passionate about. My husband and I use natural family planning (in which there are 3 most common methods – sympto-thermal as you described here, Creighton model (essentially sympto only), or temp only).
I love NFP because I feel as though it respects a woman’s body and natural cycles. Birth control happens to be the only pill/drug prescribed by a doctor that takes something that works (our fertility) and breaks it. It’s quite contradictory to what medicine is supposed to do for us. With NFP, we are taking something that works (fertility) and learning to love that we were made with a natural rhythm and cycle. My husband respects my natural cycle and we can learn the virtue of self control and mutual respect during times of abstinence (which are not that long).
Brittany says
I love hearing how successful you’ve been at NFP! It’s honestly the route I’d prefer to take, but I’m nervous because I have irregular cycles and we really aren’t at a place for more children. Plus I haven’t gotten my period back since I’m still breastfeeding, so I couldn’t start NFP until my period returns, right?
If you don’t mind me asking, what method of NFP do you use and how did you get started?
I really would love to learn more about this!
Thanks for commenting 🙂
Austin Michelle says
Hi Brittany,
I use the sympto-thermal method. Before we got married, we took a class through the Couple to Couple league. It’s a 3 class series across 3 months. This way, you can chart your cycles over the three months and you take your charts with you so your teachers can help you determine signs of fertility and infertility. You can find classes in your area pretty easily on ccli.org and I think now they are even offering them online. They actually have a special class designated for post-pregnancy charting as most women don’t have regular cycles while they are nursing and sometimes even after they stop nursing. I know for sure that you can use NFP even when your period hasn’t returned, although I don’t know the details because we haven’t had any children yet. I like the sympto-thermal method because it feels like the best of both worlds to look at both symptoms and your temp. I think they also say you have the least # of abstinence days with this method if you are trying to abstain.
Let me know if you have any more questions!
graceling says
My 4th child (who is 13 months younger than #3) was NFP while breastfeeding:) I think NFP can be really great, but I really don’t think the time to start trying to learn your body’s fertility signs is while breastfeeding. While I did have normal cycles prior to conceiving #4, my fertility signs were very diminished and my hormone surges were not even registering on OPKs (which I was using concurrently to try to decipher my fertility…)
Kelly@Runmarun says
Great post and man, there isn’t one thing that works well. I hear you on the irregular cycles- almost 9 months postpartum and my period is nowhere in sight…best part of this post?
Explanation: Not having sex 😉
Natalie says
I’m a pharmacist and use NFP. We took classes through CCL too and read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which really helped me understand mucus better…. It actually made it easy for me to get pregnant quickly when we were ready. I’m not postpartum yet (due in September), but I have a good friend using an NFP based method using a fertility monitor, which detects the hormones letting you know that ovulation may be coming-even before your period has returned. Finally, if the possibility of a fertilized egg being prevented from implantation bothers you, I want to point out that any pill containing progesterone can prevent implantation, especially the mini pill.
Katlin says
Actually, NFP works with every cycle. Irregular or not. That’s the beauty of it!
Katlin says
Also, the World Health Organization lists most hormonal birth control as a group one carcinogen. (Asbestos is in the same group)
Helen says
For those of you who are Christians, I suggest you search the scriptures to see what God has to say about the issue of having children, birth control etc. There was a man named Onan (Genesis 38) who was severely punished for “spilling his seed”. Children are refered to a blessings. This is a very personal issue. As a woman living to glorify and honor God with my whole life, including my body, I felt compelled years ago to find out what God thinks about the whole isssue/concept of birth control. I am so glad I did. What joy and freedom I found in trusting him!
Nancy says
Lady-Comp (or Baby-Comp) is a great option & is now available on Amazon as well. Thanks for the article(s)!
graceling says
This is such a tough choice. My favorite form of BC was depo shots, but they are no longer an option for us. I hated every kind of pill I tried. I’m allergic to latex, so condoms weren’t ever a real option. We had success with spermicides, until I started reacting to those (places you do not want to have an allergic reaction…)
Anyway, when I was on the NuvaRing, my husband accidentally “removed” it during intercourse more than once (TMI?). Not the most romantic thing ever:) And once it fell out into the toilet. Gross.
Erin says
Keep in mind the mini pill’s effectiveness decreases after your child is eating solids (ie not exclusively breastfed) then goes down again at a year according to my OB. I know several women who got pregnant while on the mini pill due to this.
As for the iud/fertilized egg thing: I believe I read that there is no scientific evidence behind that, it was just a theory. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/06/health/research/morning-after-pills-dont-block-implantation-science-suggests.html?_r=2&pagewanted=all
The IUD is the most effective birth control but I wouldn’t get it if you’re thinking about getting pregnant in the next year or so. Instead I’d recommend the Implanon if you decide not to do NFP. I have a couple friends with it who love it. I think you’re right not to trust NFP until you get your first period.
I got the Mirena after my second child was born and had absolutely no pain (I gave birth without medication and expected to need at least some of the breathing techniques but didn’t at all). The string is easy to check to make sure it’s in place. I do have a small amount of spotting most days which is apparently normal for the first year (!!). But I’m still glad I got it.
As to the WHO and birth control, it’s far more complex than a previous poster states. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8759578/ns/health-womens_health/t/hormone-pills-added-list-carcinogens/
(Sorry, I know this is a couple weeks old post, but hopefully it’s of some help to someone 🙂
Meredith says
This is a great topic to discuss and HUGELY connected to a significant life event for me.
Here is a quick back story about me: At the age of 24, I was hospitalized for a PE and DVT i.e., blood clots. I was a perfectly healthy runner, normal weight non-smoker, you get it. I have a blood disorder (Factor V Leiden) mixed with those BC pills “apparently” caused the clots. My doc said it was a 1 in a million chance that this happened. So either way…BC options became limited.
My option was Mirena (IUD) which I had inserted soon after and it was perfect for me (little pain, insurance 100% covered). No periods, no worry about time to take any pills and I knew that my body wasn’t going to react to too many hormones. Trust me, 6 months on Coumadin SUCKS…at 24 (I could send a separate comment about Coumadin…but maybe that should mean I should start a blog). I’m now 30, went through my second Mirena (just for a year) and decided to have it removed a few months ago since the hubs and I are TTC’ing. I understand that I will have a high risk pregnancy due to my history, but BC pills no matter how old or young you are could be a risk. (not trying to scare anyone – but get tested for this blood disorder…it is genetic)
Once I have a child, there is not doubt that I will get Mirena again (in between children). I actually think the pharm company that sells Mirena should pay me money for advocating it for all of these years…
www.lindenchamber.net says
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Thank you and best of luck.
joyce says
I’ve had my IUD for three years now and hate it. However, I don’t handle BC with hormones in it so this is my only option. When I ovulate my joints ache and I just feel awful all over. During intercourse I can sometimes feel the cord and this makes me enjoy sex less; which I used to love having. My period is much heavier and longer- the week before I start I ache and start feeling tired, the week of my period is horrible with the aches and pain. Finally I have a few days after my period of feeling normal but then ovulation starts and I feel crappy all over again. So it’s almost like I have one free week from feeling uncomfortable with this thing inside me. We’ve tried the “pull out” method but even that has gotten us pregnant. I just can’t find BC that will work for me…so i put up with this horrible iud. Wish there was a better option for women who can’t handle hormones.
Tina says
Just found out today about Lady Comp. Looks awesome – and a great alternative to all these options that are commonplace in the US right now… I’ve been frustrated for years and this machine seems to be the answer to my prayers at least… 99.3% effective and nothing foreign in your body. Just take your temp every morning before you get up and the machine does the rest. I know there is a lot more to it, my saying it that way is very oversimplified… Cost is not friendly, however they have a Pearly that is a couple hundred dollars cheaper, along with refurbished ones that are also more cost effective… Just want people to know, because I’m 30 and just now finding out 🙁
Elie says
Hey B,
thanks for the article! I hope you’re planning on refreshing it a bit.
I’m looking into birth control options right now and the landscape is a little overwhelming.
I have spreadsheet with all the options and I’m trying to figure out what method or device to invest in.
What do you think of the devices specifically (like daysy – https://www.usa.daysy.me/, or cleerblue – don’t remember this one)?
I tried a couple of apps, but since I have an irregular cycle, none were able to accurately tell me when my next one is going to be.
Thanks again, and I hope you revisit this.