Time to be a little vulnerable for a minute. As I’ve gotten older (a wise old 30 years to be exact), I’ve learned to let spiteful comments roll off my back. Talking about life online, voluntarily, certainly opens me up to some outside commentary, too. I get that. I’ve read some comments that sting, but I usually move on pretty quickly.
Yes, I’d like to think I’ve toughened up over the past few years, but sometimes words still hurt me. Oddly enough, they usually aren’t the ill-intentioned ones that make an impact. I’ll stop being vague and tell you what has affected me over the past few months…
Well, hopefully your next one will be a boy.
Maybe it’s pregnancy hormones that have me being oversensitive but I cringe when people say that for so many reasons. Let’s start with the fact that we are 95% certain that our family is complete with two wonderful children. Hearing others insinuate that somehow we couldn’t possibly be complete without both sexes frustrates me.
When a statement hurts, I always look internally first. Is there truth to it? Why does it bother me so much? Well, maybe it’s because I always thought I’d have one of each, too! That’s how I grew up and figured I’d have the same. I believe that’s why I was so convinced this one was a boy. It just had to be, right?
But this sweet little one in my belly is a GIRL. Not just another girl, but mine and David’s daughter, a unique and amazing person that we are so blessed to have and I can’t wait to get to know. With every kick and wiggle in my belly, I fall more and more in love with the idea of raising girls. What an honor. What a responsibility. What an adventure. They will be sisters and hopefully life-long best friends.
But what about David? Doesn’t every man what a boy? Honestly, I think this is primarily why the statements made by others about having “another” girl hurt me. I was worried that David would be let down.
I can’t believe I even just typed that. Don’t I know my husband at all?
David is fine. He’s more than fine. He’s elated to have his girls. He can’t wait to teach them to play soccer and show them how to use a miter saw (eventually… ;)). We both want to raise strong, confident girls that are self-sufficient and loving. You can so clearly see the love he has Hailey and I can’t help but grin when I picture two little girls hugging on their daddy. He will be the rock for all of us, a task I have no doubt he will excel at.
Yes, I’m well-aware that this may seem petty and trivial to some which is why I even hesitated to post it. What if it’s just hormones that have my emotions all wacky and oversensitive? Still, in this moment, it feels good to get it out and off my chest.
I’ve learned that ultimately what any pregnant woman wants is for others to be excited for her. Our bodies are changing, our hormones are raging, we are questioning what our lives are going to look like in a few months. The last thing we can handle is someone’s snarky opinion on the number of children we have, the sex of our children, how big or small our baby bump is or any other non-supportive comment.
To my surprise, there was a box on the front porch when I let Koda out this morning.
It was from a good friend and it warmed my heart more than she probably knows.
To me, this simple gesture said I’m so happy for you, congratulations, how wonderful!
…and there’s nothing more that any hormonal pregnant woman wants to hear.
emma @ be mom strong says
I LOVE this post! I think people get so caught up in gender they don’t really appreciate that they are growing a miracle! And you know what, even if you are caught up in gender, who cares?! We are human… we are allowed to have feelings! This coming from a mama actually wanting them to tell her her daughter is going to get a baby sister at her 20 week appointment April 8th… but I didn’t just type that out loud 😉
Vivian says
I love your honesty and applaud you for taking on this topic with such grace. I am very excited and happy for you!! 🙂
Emily says
I have a brother and while I try to love my brother as much as my sister I can’t – he’s a bully a lot of the time stimulated by a suspected mental illness he won’t get help for (he’s 21 we can’t force him to). He continually picks on me about my weight, what I eat and the choices I make, something he got from the way my father treats my mother. My sister is amazing, still hormonal but I can talk to her about anything without judgement. Both sexes are amazing, but a same sex bond of sibling is incredible (I can’t moan to my brother about period pain like my sister :P)
Beth says
It may sound trite, but it’s true: “the best thing about having a sister is that you always have a friend.” My sister and I are less than one year apart (I’m older), and while it was not my mom’s plan to have us so close together, my sister has become my best friend, and the best “surprise” I could have ever asked for. Giving Hailey a sister is such a blessing! And, who knows, maybe the next one will be a boy! Regardless, having that sisterly bond is so special, especially when the girls are both still so young. It will be so much fun for you to watch them grow up together and see how their different personalities evolve. So excited for you!
Regina says
First, I appreciate so much all the honesty and vulnerability you express in this space. It’s one of the reasons your blog is so great and that I return every morning to start my day by reading it.
I’m a bit ahead of you in my second pregnancy. I’m just over 31 weeks and like you having a second of the same gender (however we’re having a second boy). And yes, those comments happen all the time. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they mean no ill intent when they make them but I realize I find myself defending our unborn son sometimes. We do hope to have at least one more baby but who knows if we’ll become blessed with a third. There’s always a chance that even if you wish for more, you may not get so lucky, I find myself responding to “I guess you’ll have to have another to have a girl”, etc. with “I love my little boys. Mamas boys are real and that bond is something magical” as I’m sure you feel with girls. But as I walk away there’s this big part of me that hurts. I do love having boys and I wouldn’t trade he children I have for anything, especially since it’s their health and happiness that matters most not their gender. But I have always envisioned having a little girl. The bows, the mommy/daughter dates, laughing together over imaginary tea parties and painting our toes. I was adopted by a single mom so I know the mommy daughter bond is so strong and so important and I do hope to experience it one day. But if we are blessed with more kids and we have 3 boys, I’ll still feel incredibly blessed. There were years that went by I didn’t know if I’d be able to be a mom at all. There are parents out there struggling with watching their babies undergo surgeries adults shouldn’t ever have to endure, fighting life threatening diseases and illnesses before they even learn the alphabet. That’s what I think about when people ask what if I have 3 boys? Then I’ll get a lot of mother/son wedding dances. I’ll have to learn more about football, become better at letting “boys be boys” and I’ll have to find a good girlfriend to do their nails with me 😉
Honestly though you make adorable babies who seem sweet as can be. The world is lucky to have another gorgeous little product of you and David gracing the world 🙂 and daughters, especially close in age, will grow up so close to one another and create an untreatable bond together. Plus, you save money on clothes 😉
Brittany Dixon says
Hi Regina,
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a meaningful comment. I think you said it beautifully and your response to when people say similar things to you is wonderful and so mature. It boggles my mind, too, because with so many people facing struggles of infertility, illness, etc, I can never understand why some people want to be so fixated on the sex of a child (that isn’t even theirs).
I think two boys will be such a fun blessing for you! I’ve heard the mother/son bond is something so special. David is so close with his brother and I’m sure your boys will love having each other to grow up with. Congratulations on your sweet baby and I hope you are feeling well! <3
Sarah says
I love this post and thank you for opening up about it! I’m dealing with the same thing right now too. What have you found is the best response to people who make this comment?
Brittany Dixon says
Usually I just smile politely and tell them how excited we are to be welcoming a new baby into our family and leave it at that.
I honestly don’t think most people say such things maliciously, and to try and explain my feelings would probably just leave me more upset. So, I do my best to just nip it in the bud!
Kaitlyn @Keeping up with Kaitlyn says
Girls rock! I’m excited for your family and your new baby girl!! Glad you are not letting others get you down. I’m an only child and I always wanted a sister. I’m sure H is going to love her baby sister and be a wonderful big sister!!
Heather @fitncookies says
I love that you opened up and touched upon this. I can imagine that phrase would really hurt because no one even knows if you just wanted girls! I have one brother, but I see cousins who are both girls and the bond they have; the bond your girls will no doubt have and that’s something to be treasured. You are going to be a fantastic mom to two girls!
Liz @ I Heart Vegetables says
Wow, I love your openness and honesty, and I’m sure this wasn’t an easy post to write. Since I’ve never been a parent, I can’t imagine what it would be like, but I’m sure it’s not easy to have other people question your happiness and satisfaction. I’m so happy that you and David are being blessed with another wonderful daughter and it’s great to see that she’s entering a house who is going to love her completely!
Heather H says
I love this post! We are expecting our second at the beginning of April, and we have 2 1/2 year old girl who we love with all of our hearts! We don’t know this baby’s sex, but we will be fine with a boy or a girl! And I know my husband can’t wait to show his daughter (s?) all of his woodworking tools someday too 😉
Sam says
Brittany, I am the youngest of three girls and this post definitely hits home. For as long as I can remember, my parents have been asked if they want to “try for a boy” (as if you can control such things) or if I was my parents last ditch effort at having a boy. I cannot believe the nerve of some people! My parents both worked in the NICU so they usually told people they just wanted healthy babies…..the naysayers usually backed off after that 😉
That being said, like David, my dad fully embraced being the father of three girls. There is nothing sweeter than the love between a dad and his girls or the bond between sisters. Congratulations on your baby girl!
Linz @ Itz Linz says
great post! itz amazing how unbelievably insensitive people can be – intentionally or not!
Jen says
When we found out we were having a girl this time, I immediately felt bad for Wyatt because we won’t be giving him a brother. My brother and I are not that close, but Jeff and his brother are BFFs. Obviously, this is ridiculous.
Also, I’m constantly getting comments like “oh good, you got your little girl”! Umm to me that insinuates that little girls are for moms? Obviously I don’t know any different, but I love my son with all of my heart and could not imagine loving a girl more than him! It’s crazy.
I also get the “your family is complete” comments. Such BS. My family would have been complete regardless, and what if we still wanted a 3rd child? I hate how people assume things.
Hugs! <3 We got the same I'm a Big Brother book for Wyatt!
jenn says
Ditto! I got so annoyed because I had a boy and a girl and everybody says oh that’s great, you can stop now, that’s all you need yadda yadda. Well I went on to have a third and several people just couldn’t imagine why!
Kim says
Same here!! Our first was a girl and we heard more than once, “great you have one of each and you can be done!” as if that was what is going to cause someone to be done?? And I was a little sad a first that our daughter didn’t have a sister but of course now, seeing how much she LOVES her baby brother (and of course, how much we love him) that thought now feels silly. Plus, we always have next time 🙂 And while I think it will be awesome to experience both genders I would think it would be awesome if they were the same sex as well. Because as parents that’s what we do, love our kids no matter who they are or what they become.
I’m also surprised at the number of parents I’ve met that when their second baby is the opposite sex they say they are done because of it – which makes me wonder if they would keep having kids until they had the opposite gender?? It’s such a weird subject because at the end of the day it doesn’t matter!
Brittany Dixon says
I’m certain most people don’t mean malice with comments and I’m sure I’ve been guilty of saying similar things in the past, but just hearing that I’m not the only one confused or hurt by such statements makes me feel better!
I can imagine so many people get frustrated by others comments too… those that are married and don’t want children, those struggling with infertility, those that only want one child or those that want 6… the list goes on!
Rachel says
As someone experiencing unexplained secondary infertility, I’d kill for comments like these right now. Instead I have people telling my that my daughter will be lonely as an only child- that stings. The moral of the story is that people don’t know what’s happening in between couples (perhaps you had struggled to conceive and this second pregnancy was a miracle!) and should keep their mouths shut.
As an aside, I’m totally jealous you’re having another girl. My relationship with my brother isn’t great but my sister is my best friend. You’re so very lucky. 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
I’m so sorry you are dealing with infertility. I’m sure you’ve had to dodge and field your fair share of hurtful questions and comments and that can’t be easy. Sending lots of love your way!
Rachel says
You are so kind. Thank you.
I remember when you announced you were having another girl and I was so excited for you (as a creepy reader/never commenter haha). I always tell my friends that girls are the winning team and I’m only about 40% joking ;).
Chrissy says
*chrissy
Chrissy says
Hi Rachel! I am sorry to hear your struggle with secondary infertility. I’ve experienced my own struggles with recurrent miscarriages. I have 3 year old son and finally a second one on the way. Just wondering if you’ve ever heard about DHEA? I know it’s what helped me with this current pregnancy and believe it may help those having trouble conceiving. Just thought I would throw that information out there…If it can help you that would be great! Please feel free to ask me anything..I am an open book when it comes to this. Chrisst
blackhuff says
You are absolutely right. You should let nasty and cold comments roll off your back. Yes, we bloggers do open up ourselves to outside commentary which might hurt and I think that makes us brave people. More brave than the rest of the world but still, it doesn’t make us cold hard people and comments still hurt.
Don’t let people get to you. Just let their comments pass you by as if they never written it on your blog.
Sarah says
Awwww! That was always my least favorite part of being pregnant with a girl… she’s my first and when people asked what we were having, they’d be like, “Ohhhh…”
My least favorite comment was after the ultrasound. We were so excited and buzzed after hearing we’d be having a girl and we ran into someone we sort of knew, and her response was: “Oh, well. You know ultrasounds can be wrong.”
What is wrong with a simple congratulations? Haha.
Well, I think Hailey will love having a sister, and you will all have fun when she gets here. 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
Perfectly put! What is wrong with a simple congratulations? I just always reassure myself that people don’t mean harm, but seeing people give me a pity look when I say it’s a girl! gets hard to handle after the first time or two.
Congrats on your baby girl!! As if my incessant picture posting isn’t evidence enough, I’ve loved having my sweet Hailey 😉 Enjoy!!
Jen says
This was perfect. I have 3 girls and each has her own personality and unique set of needs (though they do look very much alike 🙂 )
I grew up with 2 brothers and am SO excited that my girls have sisters. I didn’t notice it when I was growing up, but now that I’m in my 30’s I find myself wishing I had a sister.
As for my husband, I’d by lying if I said he isn’t nervous for the teenage years (and so am I!) but he loves his girls so much and wouldn’t change a thing.
Brittany Dixon says
Haha, oh yes! David and I have thought about going ahead and stockpiling wine for the teenage years, but it doesn’t make us any less thrilled to have our girls.
Thank you for sharing about your three awesome kiddos! 🙂
jodi says
Hey lady! I wish I knew this was on your mind the other day! I could have talked your ear off about it… ha ha. Oh wait, I seem to talk your ear off about ANY topic. 🙂
But when Jayson and I were first married, we talked about having children. He always talked about his son. We even had his name picked out. John Grayson. We would call him Grayson, or Gray. So wouldn’t you know, Grayson was an Avery and then an Emmy! Ha. I know initially he was (privately) bummed about the idea of Grayson not making an appearance, but the love I see he has for his two girls is amazing. And bigger than anything I could have imagined. I honestly couldn’t imagine him having a boy at this point! Two of the same sex really is such a blessing. He is so in love with his girls! He was the one that couldn’t wait to go to the father daughter dance in the neighborhood! He came home and said, ‘I can’t wait to see them get married at the club!’ (he’s already got their weddings planned!)
Now a year into having two girls, the bond between two sisters is so special and unique already. I know its only going to be so much more amazing as they continue to grow. I came from a family of four kids a little far apart in age, so I never really had ‘that’ bond. But you will see with your girls, you won’t be able to imagine it any other way. Ignore the ridiculous comments. I heard them everyday at work from patients probable a half dozen times a day. Its just ignorance and maybe society placing this idea that every one (man) needs a boy. But its just ignorant. My poor partner cried one day at work when she was pregnant with her third girl and she had just had enough with the comments. She even wrote a VERY long Facebook post about it that stirred a lot of conversation. It hurts and when you are pregnant, it hurts that much more. Don’t let it overshadow the amazing miracle that you and David have created. And don’t’ go having 5 kids to get the boy. ha ha. (insert my very awkward look on my face as i say ‘Wow! Congrats! You MUST be soooo excited!’)
(I just read this looooong winded comment and realized there’s probably a reason you didn’t mention it the other day, yep, I would have talked your ear off…) Hang in there chica. 🙂
Millie Jones says
Thank you so much for sharing! You have every right to feel these things, you are a pregnant mama!!! I admire you for your honesty and vulnerability opening up to the blogging world… you share some very wise words people can learn from!
As one of two girls growing up I can not tell you enough how speical it truly is. Thankfully I have one of the most amazing relationships with my dad and you will be amazed how truly blessed you and David will be for having two girls. A daughter/dad relationship is one of the most beautiful relationships out there and so importnant to a growing girl. David is going to rock this. I am best friends with my sister! It wasn’t always easy growing up with two girls but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Girls can me mean and girls can be brutally honest with their moms but it is such a speical relationship. You are more than ready to have 2 girls and you and David are going to me amazing!!!
Mary says
Since gender is a purely biological result, I never understand why people are so judgemental. No one can decide a child’s gender. People should celebrate healthy, well-adjusted families, no matter the make-up!
Whitney says
My sister and I are less than 2 years apart and we are seriously connected at the hip!! I don’t think if she would have been a boy it would be like that. Not that my dad would ever say he wished he had a boy but genuinely I don’t think he cared that he didn’t. People are just mean and when/if I decide to have a child I will not be as nice as you are about it 🙂 xoxo
Lindsay@Fuel My Family says
I just brought my 3rd baby home from the hospital last night so trust me I’ve gotten all the comments and they piss me off! “Aw your poor husband!”. Nope, he’s just fine and loves it. “Are you going to try for a forth to get a boy?”. Nope. We may try for a 4th if we decide we want a 4th child but not to get a boy. Odds are we just make baby girls which we’d totally take another of! Occasionally I am a smart ass but I usually just say I have exactly what I want and that’s the truth. Sisters are often life long best friends and stay close to their families, sounds like a perfect life to me!
Brittany Dixon says
Home from the hospital last night?! How wonderful- congratulations!! I hope you are feeling the best that can be expected right now 🙂
I tend to be a bit of a smartass, too, which is why it’s surprised me so much that I’ve let this comment hurt me.
Thank you for sharing and enjoy your 3 beautiful girls! <3
Amanda @ All Day Active says
People definitely get caught up in having the “perfect”, balanced family. What is important is that you have healthy kids who were born into a caring, loving family — priceless! And girls can do really fun things with their daddies…..I think people forget not all girls just want play dolls and paint their nails 🙂 We got to go fishing with my dad and boating and helped in the garage. Congratulations on your two sweet girls — they will have a wonderful bond!! 🙂
Hilary @ PeanutButterSpoonfuls says
What a great post! We are expecting “another” boy and very likely our last child. I’ve had so many of these same feelings and comments too. Not only am I psyched about brothers but it’s made me realize we put way too much emphasis on gender. I hate the expression “trying for a girl/boy”. Don’t we just want a little tiny person to love?
Brittany Dixon says
I can only imagine the fun and adventure having boys will bring to you! I’m sorry you’ve had to field the comments, too, but I’m glad to hear it’s not just me 😉 Love what you said about just wanting a tiny person to love… so true! Congratulations on your baby boy!!
Laura says
Awesome post! I admit that a few years ago (I’m now 29… and a half..), I too thought having one of each would be ideal. Now (as we are trying for #1), I totally believe there are pro’s to having two of the same, or one of each! Having a sister is awesome… and I think Hailey will LOVE having a sister just as much as you’ll love having two daughters. 🙂
Danica @ It's Progression says
I’m so glad you decided to share this post, Brittany. I know that a lot of women can relate! One of my friends is having her second boy this summer, and I know she got some of the similar comments are you. But like you said, this second baby is another unique, individual child – and that baby, no matter what their gender, is another beautiful BLESSING!
betsy says
I think it’s fantastic that your daughter is getting a sister. I grew up with sisters and can’t imagine my life without them.
Al says
AMEN! To every last word.
XOXOXOX
Lauren B. says
Wonderful post, Brittany! Thank you for sharing with us! And I get it…
We just found out on Tues that Jackson will have a little brother! We are super excited, although I admit that the tiniest part of me wanted it to be a girl. But I am in love with the fact that Jackson will have a brother so close in age to fight with and be best friends with. And I feel like I have the boy thing down, so I feel confident about it. But we, too, have already heard a couple of those insensitive comments like, “Maybe next time you’ll have a girl.” We are so blessed to have 2, are we even guaranteed a third? I’ve learned that I can’t make my own plans because God always has something better for me, and maybe that’s 2 (or 3) boys! And that’s good enough for me!
Brittany Dixon says
Congratulations Lauren! Raising brothers will be fantastic, I have no doubt. David and his brother are so close and I’ve heard nothing compares to a mother/son bond. So happy for you!
Karen says
I think this is a great post and am so happy for you and the family. I have a feeling if I were to have another one, it’d be a girl and I would be so excited. I think society could be so hurtful sometimes. We’ve been hearing the whole, “you don’t want Keely to grow up an only child” from some of my husband’s family which is just so hurtful since I am an only child and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I had a great childhood and was extremely close to my cousins and still am. But people like to tell you things without really thinking I guess. Anyways, again, so totally stoked for you all and can’t wait to see what the little one looks like. Hailey will be the BEST big sister. <3
Meghan says
I don’t comment much on blogs but wanted to today. I’m in your shoes. We have a two year old daughter and are expecting a girl this June. My husband and I both wanted another girl and are so happy. But it’s hard when others can’t get excited because it’s another girl. Between my husband and his brothers, this will be the 8th girl of 9 kids. There is only one boy cousin. I know everyone will love her, but it does hurt when you see the initial reaction of disappointment.
I’m one of two girls and love having a sister. I hope my girls will grow up to be friends too. I love them both so much and look forward to seeing them grow up together.
Thank you for this post. It’s not silly or hormonal. It’s honest and relatable!
Brittany Dixon says
Congratulations on your baby girl on the way! I understand the joy it can suck out of announcing it when people respond with an ‘oh’ or just a look of pity and it is so reassuring to hear that others can relate.
On my side of the family, all the grand kids are girls, too and I love that my parents are just as excited for this baby girl as any other child. Thanks so much for sharing and I hope you are feeling well! <3
Heather says
Not silly at all! I feel the same way now that I do have one of each and everyone says, “awesome, you got both now you’re done!” No? Why does our family have to be complete due to a child of each gender? It drives me crazy!
John J. says
What a wonderful post, heartfelt and prescriptive. Your openness about your life is to be commended which in part is why you have so many followers of your blog. Keep leading by example. You are SO real – and beautiful in every way!
Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy says
I have two younger sisters. When my mom was pregnant with my youngest sister, one of my relatives was convinced it was a boy, and went as far as buying her a boy outfit AFTER she was already born. It was like people were mad at my mom for having another girl. I love having all girls in my family, though, and my dad got his boy when I married my husband :).
Nicole says
I am also pregnant with girl #2 and I feel the exact same way. It’s seems anytime I tell someone the sex they don’t know what to say or worse are obvious in the fact that they think I’m disappointed. Although I would also love to add a boy to or family I am ELATED to have two little girls close in age. I didn’t have a sister and I was so jealous and I can’t wait to see their special bond! People are crazy, bottom line. This isn’t china! We like girls! 🙂
Stephanie says
Totally agree with you. We just had our second and third(twins). We already had a 2 year old daughter and it bothered me when my husband said if it was two girls we would try for a boy. I didn’t like feeling like girls wouldn’t be enough. Other people agreed with him, but it really bothered me that my babies weren’t even born yet and if they were girls people were basically saying it would be better if you were girls. Turns out didn’t matter. We had two boys, but it pissed me off all the same. We always kind of agreed we would have 3 kids. I thought 3-4, he thought 2-3. Now, my husband talks about having another and wanting it to be a little girl…
Parita @ myinnershakti says
My mom went through something very similar, as she had two girls as well. 🙂 The Indian culture can be very male centric, and I think people pitied her and my dad when they learned that their second child was going to be a girl as well. SO DUMB! What people didn’t know was that my mom had two miscarriages and that just to have children was a blessing for them.
Also, if you ask my parents now, they couldn’t be happier with two girls. In fact, my mom says that Vishnu is her son (as is Vishnu’s brother and as is my sister’s boyfriend). At the end of the day, it’s all about perspective.
And P.S. My sister is one of my very best friends and our relationship is something I truly cherish in my life!
Laura says
Great post! If your second was a boy you would have also gotten comments like, “great! One of each, now you can stop!” I have heard that dozens of times which stings because we are 95% sure we are not done 😉
Tiffany says
I’m glad you decided to go ahead and post this. We are also expecting our second girl and I don’t know why it’s an awkward conversation to have when you announce you’ll have two of the same. I did hope that my husband had a chance to experience having a boy, but he is an even more amazing dad to our little girl already than I could have ever expected and I imagine he will be the same to #2. And no, it does not mean we will try for #3 just because we’ll have two girls and no boy!
I have a sister (just the two of us) and we are very close so I hope that my girls are too eventually! Time will tell, but we had so much fun as “the girls” with my mom, sister, and I so I look forward to that time too.
The thing that bothers me a little about having the same gender is that people just assume you’re all set and no gestures to welcome the baby are necessary or appropriate. I don’t want “stuff,” but I’m a little sad that baby #2 doesn’t get the amount of time and thought from friends and family that #1 did just because we “already have the girl stuff.” One of the things I cherish the most was the cards with good wishes and “what i hope for the baby” things that were done for us when expecting #1.
Brittany Dixon says
Congratulations on your baby girl!!
Thanks for sharing your story and I do think you raise an interesting point about not feeling the excitement from others. Hearing people throwing sprinkles or get-togethers for friends that are expecting an opposite sex can feel like a burn sometimes. Like you, I don’t need any stuff, but I’d love to spend an afternoon having girlfriend time and celebrating this new little person on the way over sparkling water!
For what it’s worth, I’m sending a huge congrats your way and hope the people closest to you tell you how excited they are for you. I’m already having fun trying to picture what my baby girl will look like and what her personality will be like. It’s just as much fun this time around 🙂
Danielle says
I’m happy for you and your family. I’m sure I’ve probably made comments like that never realizing what the other person would think. Thank you for publishing this post.
I’m a middle child with a brother, 2 years older, and a sister, 2 years younger. I’ll be honest and say that my sister and I didn’t get along growing up. Our personalities are polar opposites so I got along better with my brother. But even though we didn’t get along I still loved doing certain activities with her. She was into fashion so I always went shopping with her so she could help me out. We really started to get along when she went off college. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Lol
Brittany Dixon says
Hey Danielle, please don’t feel bad! I am certain I’ve said comments in the past that have a similar effect on people, which is why I’m sure that the comments said to me are not meant maliciously. It’s something I never thought about until now, pregnant with baby girl #2 🙂
katie says
Considering there are already 40 comments, I’m hesistant to comment. But as a 20 something who isn’t near having children, I do appreciate this post. I also have a brother, so I imagine having one of each, but both girls also sounds wonderful!! Two boys….I would need a lot of me time to be ready to handle that, but life is an adventure no matter what the twists and turns are. Congratulations on your growing family!
Danielle says
I think the theme of this post can apply to more than just the gender comments. As a family unable to naturally conceive, we have grown our family through adoption. I’ve had to steel myself against more inappropriate comments than I ever thought possible. My kids will not look like me. In fact, there is a good chance one of our children will be an entirely different ethnicity than us. You would be appalled at the audicity of people in the comments they feel it is appropriate to make– in front of our kids no less. The bright spot is remembering how the comments stung, then making a conscious choice everyday to ensure I never cause another person to experience a similar feeling. I’ve learned to be sensitive and careful about what I say, and that’s a blessing to the people I encounter, I think. Sadly, there are a lot of folks who are just plain ignorant. I feel sorry for them and just use them as an example of what not to do for my kids.
You are very lucky to have such a beautiful family, in whatever form it may take 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
Exactly these thoughts crossed my mind before I published this post. People deal with so many unique situations, whether it is infertility, having a lot of kids or couples that have decided they don’t want kids at all. I imagine the list of situations people comment on is endless and I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with your share of rude ones.
Like you mentioned, though, I hope my experience has enlightened me to be more considerate before letting words come out of my mouth. I would never say something with ill-intentions, as I’m sure most people don’t when they say comments to me, but it doesn’t mean that the words won’t sting.
Thank you for sharing and please give your cutie, C, a hug for me 🙂
Heather says
This is such a good post. I think it’s really easy for people to get caught up in “gender” and I admit I even had a moment when I found out we were having a girl that I was a little bummed because I had wanted another boy for my son. The feelings quickly went away as I started buying girl things and got excited about all of the stuff we could do with a girl and remembering how close I am with my brother. I know what you mean, though… when people found out we were having a girl, I got a lot of, “Oh, you can stop having kids now – you’ve got one of each.” As though our family wouldn’t be complete if we had had two boys… It’s an odd thing to say, in my opinion. Either way we’d be done having kids because we decided two is the right number for us, but it made me wonder if other people just keep having kids hoping they’ll have at least one of each as though you’d be missing out on something if you didn’t. Baffling really. There are so many things you can do with both boys and girls – nothing is really gender specific unless you make it so. I can have just as much fun with my son as I can with my daughter and he plays dress up too… maybe not in dresses, but it’s still fun and I love that he helps me bake. I’m sure our daughter will have just as much learning to fish with her dad too.
Congratulations on your two girls!
MC says
Does your boy choose to not play dress up in dresses? Or do you and your husband only purchase boy-centric costumes for him, but still encourage dress up? This topic has always interested me. I don’t have kids yet, but am a fan of a big box of whatever costumes, and if they are chosen by the kid and cross gender lines, that’s cool. I’m interested to hear your perspective on this!
Heather says
That’s actually a really good question… right now he seems to be “all boy” and goes for more boyish costumes at day care when they have dress up days… we actually don’t have any costumes at home, come to think of it! I’m all for him doing what he wants, though, and when I put on my makeup he sometimes asks to sit on the counter with me and he’ll pick up a brush and pretend to put on blush with me. :p Honestly, if he wanted to put on a princess dress, I probably wouldn’t mind, but I have a feeling my husband would encourage him to stick with “boy” costumes.
Sarah @ Sweet Miles says
I’m so sorry people are so thoughtless about their comments! I know they probably don’t even think twice, but you’re right, it really does hurt your feelings after a while I bet! Girls are awesome, and I always BEGGED my mom for a little sister when I was younger. It’s just my brother and I, so the fact that you’re blessed with two girls who will be sisters, something I always wished I had, is pretty special 🙂 They will be best friends, and always have each other’s backs! Congrats to your family! God always knows what he’s doing 🙂
Maria says
Why a healthy pregnancy for two loving parents (and one fun-loving bigger sister) should be met with ANY disappointment is beyond me.
That’s all I have to say about that besides, OMG, it’s soon! Cannot wait to virtually meet her 🙂
Lee says
Though we have a baby boy, Jason actually really wanted a girl.
Liz says
Love this! Every child is a blessing for who they are, regardless of what gender they are. I am currently pregnant with my second (first was a boy) and haven’t found out what the sex is yet. It crushes me how many people tell me they hope it will be a girl. Like sisters, brothers are a wonderful thing, and we are excited regardless of if we have another boy or a girl. It makes me particularly sad when my mother-in-law, who I love dearly, tells me how much she wants a granddaughter (this baby is likely to be her last grandchild). Sigh. Thanks again for your words and I look forward to hearing about the adventures your girls get into!
Christina says
Thank you for sharing this. I’m having a similar issue, but from a slightly different perspective: my husband and I have a beautiful, precious little girl, and many (most) days my heart tells me that our family is complete. I honestly am not sure a second child is in our future. People’s comments have been hurtful to me (like my child’s life will be incomplete without a sibling, or that I’m being selfish), and I end up withdrawing and not sharing. All children, no matter how many, how few, or their gender, are a beautiful blessing!
Shannon says
I am in the same boat- mom to an amazing 3 year old girl and completely happy with our family of 3. Study after study has shown that only children do just as well, if not better, than multiples. I am the oldest of 4 (1 brother, 2 sisters) and have always known that a large family was not for me. I am not close to any of my siblings (their choice, not mine), my husband is my best friend and our daughter is the light of my life. Good luck to you guys!
Susan says
Isn’t it weird, how we have to defend our babies, when they aren’t even born yet, and in a matter that no one can control, except for Mother Nature?
My own mother pulls off these kind of comments. Not to be intentionally hurtful, she just doesn’t think before she talks. When we first found out we’re expecting #2, she said something along the lines of “Yay, maybe it will be a girl this time around!” Somewhat harmless, but it still bugged me. She’s an only child, I’m her only daughter and her mother had a sister, so they don’t really know what to do with our little boy. She lives in Germany, and hasn’t seen my son in almost 2 years, but for some reason she has this weird assumption that he is some sort of screaming, bullying toddler-monster (he is the exact opposite) and it really, really hurts me, when she says something like that. And that’s coming from my mom. Not a random stranger, or even friend. Well, we’re finding out the sex of our second in two weeks, and while we’re happy with either, I’m already imagining her reaction, if we’re having another boy. Sigh. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us, seems like we moms not alone in this!
Kathryn says
Well said. I have a girl and want another girl, but sometimes do let my mind wander and fear my husband would be disappointed if he didn’t have a boy…then I wake up and realize we will love any child of ours NO MATTER WHAT. And I hope others would support that feeling! As usual, I love your blog and it is the only one I read everyday (started reading 3 years ago) 🙂
Sarah says
While my sister and I were hardly friends while we were growing up (5 years apart), she is my best friend now and we talk most days of the week. Couldn’t imagine life without her and her counsel!
Erin says
I don’t think you are hormonal. we didn’t find out the sex of either of our children. In a way I found it fun to wait and not know until the day they were born. People don’t realize that they are cruel with words because they don’t think before they speak.
Babies are fun and a blessing regardless of gender. Stay positive and you look great and are healthy. I was expecting #1 and was asked if I was having twins. (My thoughts were wow I must be really big!) hahaha. I loved every second of my pregnancies. Good luck. Stay positive! When the girls are older they will melt your heart with the love they have for y’all and each other.
Samantha says
I’m close with both my brother and sister but there was (and still is) something truly comforting about having an older sister to help me navigate through life. Once you see your two daughters together and the untouchable bond that they will form, all of these comments will cease to exist.
Ali says
Thanks for being honest! I think it always takes courage to post things like this, but almost always people resonate with you! I posted a vulnerable post on Tuesday, but felt better afterwards. As for what people say… people always say things and don’t think before the words come out. I can’t tell you how many comments I’ve received since being pregnant that are offensive and the person has no idea. I was born into a family of two girls and I can’t imagine it any other way. I love having a sister. My dad wanted a boy before we were born and by the time he passed, he really wanted to have another girl!
Alise says
I’m with you, lady. It’s offensive even when you do have one of each. I felt so hurt when even my own family reacted as if I’d won the lottery when I told them we were having a boy. I have the best little girl who is so unique and wonderful, and would have been thrilled for her to have a sister and life-long best friend. People would say, “Your husband must be so happy!” as if fathering a son earned him some sort of manly bravado. It’s ridiculous. My own brother was telling me about his desire to try for a second child the other day, and he said, “And it doesn’t even really matter what it is since we already have a boy.” This comment cut me to the core. It was as if he was saying, “You get it now that you have a boy and I can say things like this.” I wouldn’t trade my daughter or my son for the world, but gender does not give one value over the other.
Emily says
I’m expecting my third baby in July. I already have two little boys, and what you’re describing in this post played a huge part in why we chose not to find out the sex of our third baby (we found out with the first two). We will honestly be thrilled with either a girl or a boy, and it really bothers me that people assume that we are “trying for a girl.” No, we tried for a third child! I like the idea of the surprise at birth with the third, and I also am happy to avoid comments if we found out now.
Christy says
Yay for two girls! I have two little ladies myself and sometimes I have to pinch myself to believe it. I feel so lucky, so blessed, and so complete. My littlest is 5 months old and I just can’t wait until she is old enough to play with big sis (almost 2 years old). I can’t even imagine all the fun they are going to have, and the fun I will have watching them! People ask me all the time if I’m going to ‘try for the boy’ and ask if my husband will be ‘ok’ with just girls. Such silly comments. My husband is over the moon about his gals. And if I were to have a third, I kinda hope it would be another girl.:)
Jenny says
Aw, it’s okay to be vulnerable. Pregnancy is a sensitive time, but for whatever reason, people seem to think it’s okay to make nosy and inappropriate comments about it. When I was pregnant, people commented on my weight gain, my eating habits, and even had the nerve to ask if the pregnancy was “planned” or not (on several occasions)! Not sure what it is about pregnancy that makes people think these otherwise taboo topics are okay, but it’s certainly annoying.
People seem to be gender-obsessed these days. From gender reveal parties to buying EVERYTHING in a gender-specific color, people forget that it’s a blessing to have a healthy baby regardless of gender. I have friends who struggled with fertility. I have friends who had a birth defect scare. Neither of these couples cared about gender, all they wanted was a healthy, happy baby.
I do understand that slight pang of guilt you feel, though. We are nowhere near having a second, but I would love my hubby to be able to have a boy, so I will feel guilty if he doesn’t get that chance. But then I remind myself what an amazing daddy-daughter relationship he has with our little girl, and remember how fun it was growing up with a sister, and I know that a second child, boy or girl, is a blessing 🙂
Plus, you get to re-use all of your cute girly stuff 🙂
Emily says
I think people say that because they truly want you to experience what they think is “the full spectrum” of child rearing. Boys and girls have differences, and not that you’re cheated by having 2 of the same (like I was – I have a sister) – but you get to see what it’s like to raise a girl AND a boy. And I think that comes from a positive place.
That’s why I’m excited to have had both a boy and a girl. I would have been happy with ANY scenario of children. And I don’t think it’s better or worse. But I think it’s exciting to parent both a boy and a girl, and see how they’re different. So I think that’s where people are coming from, maybe?
Emily says
I am very early in my second pregnancy and secretly hoping it’s another girl 😉 sisters are the best! We haven’t told people yet but I’m sure we will get the boy comments I guess I’ll just play along. I don’t know what it is about babies and pregnant women but people have no filter. Congrats on your growing family thanks of sharing and looking fwd to seeing pics of another cutie!
Amanda Perry @ Sistas of Strength says
So so beautiful!!!! 🙂 You are the best mama.
Lauren says
I have a daughter and my husband and I would be so thrilled for another (but I know we would both be blessed and so excited for a boy too). my sister and I are so so so close and so I know this may sound bad but sometimes I pray for my daughter to have a baby sister specifically. And I’ve heard comments like girls are easy now but wait til they’re teens or other comments like that but its like, ughh I’m pretty sure I was going to youth group and playing softball and not getting into trouble. Its not like every teen girl is some dramatic, super emotional, rebellious person haha. Congratulations, girl, I am so happy for you!
erin says
I don’t think people mean to be rude or hurtful when they say these things, but they still sting. As the mother of 2 boys i totally know where you are coming from. I hated it when the first thing people said to me when i told them i was having another boy was often “so does this mean you will have a 3rd so you can try for a girl?” Implying that I was already disappointed in the precious boy i was carrying and the he wasn’t what I wanted. It makes me so angry and sad. Oh the flip side friends who have a boy and a girl have told me that they also hate it when people tell them “oh i guess you are done having kids then because you have one of each.” I guess you can’t win:)
i love having 2 boys, just as I am sure I would love having 2 girls or a boy and a girl. I find it equally irritating when friends who have all girls tell me the could “never” handle having boys. My children are more to me than their sex and I would never have additional children just to get the sex people think I want. Not to mention that there is no guarantee that your child will fit the gender stereotype people envision for them. I do agree though that part of the sting is probably because I do mourn the fact that we will never have a daughter, but just because I mourn that doesn’t mean that I don’t love what I do have. I wouldn’t trade my boys for anything.
Hanna says
I don’t think people think about what they are saying sometimes. I felt so much pressure to have a boy with both of my pregnancies. We have two perfect little sassy girls that make our family complete. I could not imagine my life any different! Also, I grew up with a sister and she was and still is my best friend. I’m glad my daughters will experience that relationship because it’s irreplaceable. You are so blessed! Good luck with baby girl #2!
Laura @ Mommy Run Fast says
Oh absolutely! People have no idea how hurtful their random comments can be. When we were trying to get pregnant both times, I always struggled with well-meaning comments like “it will happen soon!” or “you just need to relax” when I wanted to say, you have no idea, and what if it doesn’t happen? With kids, everyone has opinions about how many kids (my friends pregnant with their 3rd have gotten comments about how they will manage, or how brave they are which can be equally hurtful). In any case, thanks for the honest reflections!
edit churchill says
As a mother to 3 girls, I can completely relate!! I absolutely LOVE having all girls. Was I wanting a boy just a little after the second, sure. But I am over the moon in love with each of my very different but still very similar girls. They are instant best friends. I have a sister and she is my best friend, so I know how awesome it’s going to be for them. The best line I would get from people all the time (and still get) was “are you going to try for a boy?” As if I can control that!! Your daughter is going to love having a sister! Ignore the ignorant!
Katie@Pop Culture Cuisine says
I love this post! I don’t think I have ever received so many inappropriate and/or rude comments as we did when we found out not only that we were expecting our twins, but that they were both girls and that we already had a girl. I mean I realize I sound like a crazy person when I say that we have 3 girls under the age of 2 1/2, however they are OUR girls and each their own person and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I know I was in shock when we found out, especially because like you, I came from a 2 child girl/boy family as did my hubby, so I just sort of assumed that was what we would have. We were almost 100% sure we only wanted 2 also, but the Lord seemed to have different plans for us. Now while most days I think we are done having babies, I’m not positive and I wouldn’t be lying if I said it was to “try for a boy,” but that would definitely not mean we wouldn’t be ecstatic with another girl. What I often find most humorous about baby gender is 1. we don’t decide and 2. genetically the male is who determines sex, so if a man is disappointed with the outcome it’s his own fault haha. Either way, congrats and welcome to the girl mom club, it is a blast and full of tutus, tiaras, and anything they want to be!
jen says
MUAH! your family is perfect just the way it is. xo
GiGi Eats Celebrities says
I WANT TO SMACK the person who said to you “I hope it’s a boy” – WOW, REALLY?!?!?! Regardless of the sex, YOU’RE COMPLETELY BLESSED to be carrying a human being!!! I am so very happy for you and cannot wait to see this little gem! Name ideas?
Abby @Sugar & Spice says
We have three girls and I get the question often “will you try for a boy?” We have not ruled out the possibility of a fourth child, but I would have no preference as to the sex. A boy would be wonderful. A girl would be equally great! It has been a privilege and a profound experience raising my girls so far… They are amazing. You bring up a great issue wondering whether your husband would be disappointed; I’ve thought about that a lot too. Especially since he’s the only boy in his family and there’s some pressure to “carry on the family name” (not that anybody really cares about that these days). But my hubby is thrilled with our girls and is the perfect mixture of gentleness, protection, and firmness… Like he was meant to be the daddy of girls! Sounds like your hubby will be too!
Molly says
Oh mercy. This brings back lots of memories from when I was pregnant with Callan. I couldn’t believe how many people who said “you’ll try again for a girl, right?” It’s crazy. I am so very happy being the princess of the family. I wouldn’t trade this smelly, boy filled family for anything! If/when we decide to have another, it won’t be because we’re trying for a girl. It will simply be because we want another little life to love on and another sibling for our boys. I couldn’t imagine life without my sisters. I grew up sandwiched between 2 of them and we are very close still. I think your girls will always be best friends!
char eats greens says
1) I friggen love you. 2) I’m sorry that people suck sometimes!
I really do hate the notion that there HAS to be one of each sex. I feel the same way as you. We might have two children (only one is where I’m at right now, so apparently we’d be incomplete because we don’t have a boy either…too bad), and say I did get pregnant again and it was another girl, I was 0% feel inclined to “complete” a family by trying for a boy. I think your family is going to be perfect because of who you and David are!!!
Get that little girl out of that belly so you can start proving it…ok, or wait until May 😉
Heather @ What Does She Do All Day? says
I could have written this post. I had pictured myself as a mom of a boy and a girl or two boys. Never thought I’d be a mom of two girls. And I know two makes our family complete. I love my girls. Hubby loves his girls. We’re comfortable with our decision that we are done having kids, yet people still feel the need to tell me it would be a shame to not raise a boy. These girls love each other and we love them so much! There’s no shame in that!
Mike @ Midwestern Bite says
Hopefully for your next pregnancy you’ll have quintuplets.
You know, so you can get the full experience.
Ha! 🙂
Paulina says
I love your honesty in this post. It is so sexist for people to assume that all dads want or need a son and that if they get a girl, it’s somehow less. I dealt with the same comments during my pregnancy, and was always so happy when people replied with a simple congratulations. I have two daughters. The only other grandkids in our family so far are also girls. My husbands sister and brother-in-law are very into sports and always wanted a boy and got two perfect baby girls instead. When I was pregnant (both times) that whole side of the family joked that we HAD to have a boy since the family has enough girls already. My brother-in-law even said that if we had a boy, he’d be happy to not “try for a son” himself because he would have a nephew to bond over sporty boy stuff with. (Really!?) When we did find out we were having a girl (again, both times) it felt like we were letting everyone else down. Whatever, my girls are both awesome.
Andrea says
Congratulations on your baby girl! While I only have one child I can completely relate to what you said about how ultimately every pregnant woman just want others to be happy or excited for them. I think that is why so many keep the baby name a secret! (I may do that with baby #2) People tend to be judgmental. I know when I told some people at work that I was naming my son Gabriel some said all sorts of negative things and it hurt my feelings. How thoughtful of your friend to send those books! For what its worth my little sister and I are just 2 and we are best friends. Thanks for sharing your journey and wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy 🙂
Kim says
People ask us where our boy is and my husband says he traded him in for 3 girls <3
Elizabeth Evans says
I have a boy & girl & people now assume that I’m “done”. We’re not sure if we’ll have more children but it’s funny how society makes that assumption.
Elizabeth says
I have two daughters. They are now 20 and 22. They are great friends, amazing young ladies, and the best children we could ever have imagined. We are thrilled with our girls, and have never felt that somehow we were missing something by not having a boy. People are insensitive and say stupid things without thinking.
Congratulations to you! Being the mother of daughters is a wonderful thing. Enjoy every moment.
Andrea says
As a mom of 2 girls (and a “complete” family) 😉 I totally get where you are coming from. It is annoying for people to assume that you’re not thrilled to raise 2 wonderful girls and that Hailey will get the privilege to grow up with a sister! My husband and I struggled with infertility for years before we were blessed with our 2 girls (via IVF) and we are really both so thrilled and beyond grateful to have our 2 beautiful children. God knows what He is doing…and we trust that this was meant to be! And that is exactly what I say when people ask if we are going to try for a boy 😉 God bless, you are going to love having 2 girls. :))
Emily says
When we found out I was expecting my son, everyone had the comments of “You’re so lucky to be having a boy” and “half way to the million dollar family”. It made me really angry (probably hormones too) and now when people ask if we are going to try for another it’s usually “are you going to try for your girl” and that makes me just as angry. I can’t believe this is still going on in 2014. Good luck with baby #2!!
Reghan says
Thank you for posting this! It drives me crazy! I just announced our second pregnancy on Facebook last week (we already have a son) and within an hour I’d already received at least 3 comments “I hope this is your girl!” “I hope you get your girl to complete your million dollar family!” (I replied “a boy would be perfect too!” and another comment about it being a girl. I’m happy with either a boy OR a girl! I just hate the feeling that I’m going to disappoint other people about the gender of MY baby next month if it’s not a girl. It’s ridiculous, really.
Ashley says
Oh Brittany! I loved/need this post. We don’t know what we are having (36 weeks now) and I have tried every single wives tale…why? Because I desperately want a girl. Not because I don’t love boys (I do hello blue patagonia poofy coats)! It’s because I have a feeling that whatever our first is…our second will be ie 2 boys or 2 girls (if we are blessed enough to get pregnant a second time). I know brothers are fun and awesome BUT I have an insanely close relationship with my mom and get sad to think I won’t have that bond with a daughter.
I know mothers and sons have good relationships but I worry. My husband isn’t very close to his mom and I understand why (unfortunately very negative and cold) but I fear my son won’t be close to me when he grows up. Do you think you’re the only hormonal pregnant lady that over thinks things still?? Lol…you’re clearly not! I appreciate your honesty and LOVE following you along your journey.
In case you forgot I LOVE your blog and you inspire me often. I did do 6 am boot camp at 36.5 weeks pregnant this morning and feel fabulous. We are so blessed! Cheers to sisters for you, loving a possible baby boy to pieces that he always loves his momma for me and healthy babies all around :).
Hilary says
This was a timely post. I’m pregnant with #2 and we just found out she is a second girl. We have received so many “congratulations and I’m sorry” to my husband. At first I was a bit disappointed. I too have a brother and just expected one of each and know my husband would be such a great role model to a boy. However, I’m excited (even more so after reading all the comments) about sisters. I never had one and am envious of my sister in law and her sister’s relationship (spa dates, mani/pedis, girls lunches). I’m thrilled to give that to my daughter. My husband has a great relationship with our first daughter and there is something very special about a man and his girls. It also hurts to think this sweet baby, not even born yet, is already a disappointment to some. She should be just as celebrated as my first was and I’m sad for her, though I know everyone is genuinely happy.
Brooke says
I have a girl now and would LOVE to have a girl next. I always wanted a sister and would really love to give my daughter one. I would also love to have a boy, because having one of each would be amazing. So really, having a healthy baby is all that a mama wants!
People just don’t know what to say, I guess! Don’t let it get to you, just think about it that way!
Tori L says
I so love everything about this post. I grew up with 3 sisters and I couldn’t imagine it any other way; sisters are the best! Except when they borrow your clothes and get stains on them 😉 You’ll be a great mama to raising 2 beautiful sisters!
Munchies and Munchkins says
The comments don’t stop when the baby arrives as last week a shop assistant asked me if I was sad that I’d had another girl. I was shocked.i can tell you though as a mum of two girls two years apart that its wonderful having two daughters x
Elizabeth says
I’m obviously a little behind on reading this, but I’m SO glad I did!!…..You could not have stated this better for what Kevin and I went through (and honestly STILL go through) with having 2 girls. I, like you, grew up with one other sibling… a brother. I thought I would always have one of each, although my heart REALLY wanted at least one girl! I think God knew my heart more than I did, and blessed me with not one, but 2 girls! After having my first, I couldn’t have been more excited to have another girl! My only concern was Kevin, but like you said about your husband, I knew he was smitten by Katelyn, and would be smitten by Brooklyn too… in fact, I think he immediately knew how much another little girl would melt him.
However, to this day (the baby is 9 months), we still have people comment when they see us with two girls about the fact that we need another or “where is your boy?” REALLY!?!?! How rude! I actually had a woman take a look in the infant seat at Brooklyn and state, “you wished she was a boy didn’t you?” I was SOOOO mad! It happens ALL the time! We don’t know if we are going to have more children yet, but if we don’t, our family will be perfectly complete with 2 of the same sex! I’m not sure why I feel offended by the comments either…maybe it’s because I feel that my family is viewed as not good enough, or like they view Brooklyn as the “wrong thing”….I dunno, but I think she’s perfect and our little family with 2 girls is perfect!! If we have a boy one day, then that will be perfect, too, but if not, I couldn’t be more blessed than I am with my little girls! 🙂
Lindsay @ Health Foragers says
I am very behind on my reading blogs (raising a toddler and teaching is really taking too much of my time, haha), but I am glad I caught this one. It made me tear up. Great post!
Jennifer Kidd says
I needed to read this. Just found out I am pregnant with a girl! She will also be my second daughter. It’s only been about 24 hours but I have been having a hard time accepting it, I guess I will say for lack of a better phrase to really describe what I’m feeling although I am overjoyed as well. I needed this & I appreciate you for writing it. Que the hormones
Brittany Dixon says
I remember being a bit shocked at first too but now that I am 2 years in to being the mom of two girls, I can tell you it is INCREDIBLE. Watching them love each other is one of the greatest things I’ve ever felt. I am so excited for you to experience all the joy that is ahead. Best of luck! <3
Colleen @ The Lunchbox Diaries says
I love this – and you put it so eloquently (unlike myself haha!) I think I just get so shocked when people are negative about such a wildly positive thing. So strange!